Lord, I'm tired of staying in Singapore really... and I feel tired of hoping, knowing, wishing, waiting... mostly waiting... and not knowing how I'm gonna get there... I don't see it yet physically... but somehow it will happen... it's trying my patience... really trying... I'm tired of facing people's physical treasure... guess I'm like Sarah... seeing other ppl's children growing up... and their children's children...and... I'm still waiting... I see your works and how you can work... and how great you are... Lord...help me to draw strength & stand firm. These few days, I've been tripping... feeling like I just can't breathe... feeling frustrated & angry...why I'm going thru this dark hole again... this waiting again...
I feel so tired looking at your evidence and hands happening in my brothers & sisters... I'm grateful you're blessing them... I'm just wondering... when will it be my turn to sit on your lap and wish away... fly away... and be smiling at those won battles with you... those raw miracles...
I guess I don't want to feel unworthy all the time when they come... like I have to just push it through... without training... it's scary... to just do it... I do want to enjoy... which makes me go back to... when Lord... when can you let me go overseas to train... I don't want to be on stage feeling unequipped... like I don't belong... don't know... I hate that feeling... I feel like I want to hide...
So I guess during this time of waiting, I will "self-train"...from you... everything that comes, will be your project for me to score as high as possible.
No matter in arts, in spiritual encounters or .... whatever it is... I'll try my best to pass and pass it well... otherwise I'm gonna feel stuck... I hate feeling stuck.... I hate stuck. I hate the dessert... I hate that place.... same old place that no matter where you turn or go... it's still sandy...dry...
I get it now... I'm not in a real school but... I'm in your school...
Lord...I want to apply for school next year.....sigh. I know I keep saying this every year but where should I go Lord? Where do you want me to go? I would love NYC... Chicago is way too cold... but wherever it is... you'll have to be there... and for now, I'll have to figure out one thing... which area (blueprint) should I be using... what design am I? Writing? Acting? Directing? ...
I need to figure this out... so I'm gonna use time to shape my acting. Guide me teacher... Guide me...
I pray your patience will be upon me... I'm not there yet...
14th Feb
Me.
~I am well kept by Him in the secret place...
~Everyday amongst or beyond, I look up...smiles...He is there.
~He carries me... even before I came to be, He carried me...played with me...spoke to me and cuddled me... whispered sacred treasures into my heart...
~"I love you and I know how you'll be...I see you and I'll keep the heart of my eyes with you. I love you and I'll be with you..." "Your name is."
~I don't shine among a crowd of strangers...but have ears and heart for the thoughts of one
~I like to shine in the world for you...but I want to hide away from it as well...
~The sum of me is lesser than the equation of this world.... But it's more than the life of Your heart...
~You marvel me Lord...your deep love marvels me.
~I love you God, Lord Jesus & Holy Spirit.
~I love you.
I appreciate this love
This world is my playground with you
Of dreams of hope and a journey
Arising and moving
To be in love with you day after day
This layout was done by nette and the Codes from kriss. Finally, I would like to introduce you to a highly talented photographer, Michal Zaleski: pbase.
